Reflections on Mothers Day

I mentioned below that I wasn’t feeling great on Mother’s Day, so I didn’t really spend a lot of time thinking about being a mom and reflecting on my role with my kids. But, once I started feeling better (a couple days ago) I started getting these overwhelming feelings of thankfulness just out of the blue. I’ve literally been so emotional lately when I think about my children, and my responsibility to them. Ava and Jesse probably wondered this week if their mommy finally “lost it” when I found myself crying during an episode of Veggie Tales reminding me about “thankfulness.”

I’ve been thinking about how often mothers who have already raised their kids and grandmas constantly say, “cherish these times when they are little, because it flies by.”
It’s so true- I’ve found myself thinking about Ava and kindergarden in a couple of years....and I’m realizing that I won’t have her all to myself forever. I am so blessed to be home with my kids everyday all day, and to see each new thing they do,each new thing they say, and to teach them, well... about everything, I guess. Sometimes I take it for granted.

Yesterday evening, I decided to take Ava out, just us girls. We went to McDonald's, got hot fudge Sundays and talked. I decided to let Ava direct the conversation, which she always willingly does. She mostly talked about firetrucks, birdies, Dora, and then went through a mental list of every girl/woman she knows and asked me if they were “mommies.” :)

Then, we went into the dreaded “play area.” I’ve never been much for these, especially not at McDonald's, since they seem to be germ magnets, but I thought that she would have a lot of fun, so we went in. She immediately ran to the bottom mats where you have to climb up to the tunnels that hang and curve about 10 feet up in the air. I could see that she really wanted to go up, but, for those of you that know Ava, you know that she is usually afraid to do anything where she’s “on her own” so to speak, she likes to look down and see Michael or I watching her, but unfortunately for her, these tunnels didn’t have windows.
She begged me to go up with her and I continued to say, “Sorry Ava- big people aren’t allowed to go on these- only kids. You’ll be fine yourself.” Just then, I looked over and saw a sign that said “Moms and Dads are welcome to play!” So, to Ava’s excitement, I climbed into these tunnels following behind her, trying my best to keep up with a 2 year old who has about 20 times more energy than I’ll ever have. Ava’s face made it all worth it, she had a huge cheesy smile from ear to ear.... but every few seconds, she would look back and say “Mom, are you with Ava?” (She still talks in 3rd person sometimes :) And I would say “yeah sweetie, I’m right here.” Another few seconds would go by and she would say, “Please don’t leave me, mommy.” And I found myself saying, “Don’t worry- I won’t leave you” over and over.
Eventually, saying those words over and over started to tug at my heartstrings. I found myself again thanking God for my kids, and reminding myself that Ava and Jesse won’t need me forever.
So, there I was trying to avoid touching the greasy french fry marks on the plastic, trying to squeeze through smelly tunnels, all the while with happy tears in my eyes, telling myself- “Treasure this!”